Every now and then the Comedy Central Roasts have some gold, and I love Nick Kroll's impression of what it must be like writing a project with Seth Rogen during the Comedy Central Roast of James Franco. Read in a voice that he describes as "a sweaty Orthodox Jew eating a pastrami sandwich:"

Stray observations:

YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, FCC-SA

The most offensive part is where he goes back to his "home" in Mexico. There's no way this tortilla isn't from the "Ethnic Foods" aisle at Cub Foods in White Bear Lake, MN.

Nothing to see with Mitch McConnell. It's turtles all the way down.

There's a chance that his avarice will lead him to grasp at the One Ring and unknowingly fall into the fiery pits of Mount Doom, thus destroying Bannon's power and leaving America to be saved by eagles as always.

This is an interesting story here in 1977, but why is he talking about real estate mogul Donald Trump as if he had political ambitions? Also, that "Star Wars" movie looks like somethin', huh?

If my name were Chuck I'd probably reply to Ken. Generic newscaster name, it happens.

Drink some water. No, not from the bong!

Well as America's attic you weren't exactly fooling anyone with all the lava lamps, near-constant Rush shuffle, and towels that fell near the door right as we were coming up.

Hey, no shame in going on food stamps or welfare. Craig T. Nelson has been on food stamps and welfare, but did anybody help him out? No!

We're also apparently too stupid to read titles now and have to have blockquotes for those in the comments, so things are great all over.

The only way to salvage the character while still being super dark and edgy is to follow the model of Spiderman: The Animated Series and have Hank Azaria play Venom.

Jiro Has Night Terrors of Sushi

*Aaron Sorkin writes laborious scene with himself walking and talking next to Hollywood, explaining how he's actually super woke*

All those tourists heading to the Bronx or Queens will just have to deal with uncertainty. You hear that, tourists? You'll just have to settle for the gritty destitution of Times Square.

Well, Nickelback has always been a strong proponent of quantitative reasoning as evidenced by their admonitions to look at this graph: https://www.youtube.com/wat…

"Suffocation, no breathing, don't give a fuck" was actually the first line of the bill.

Was that the Aerosmith cover of "Come Together"? I normally hate that cover but it sort of worked in sucking me into the big, dumb energy of it all.

Well there go Jeff Ross' chances of being appointed Roastmaster General in this administration.