“It wasn’t a relationship! It was an ALLEGORY for the ways in which you resemble Lot’s wife!”

Some days in Texas are less shitty than others. Oh, and have your seen Congressman Joe Barton’s dick pic?

The speed of this decision is impressive, too. Keep in mind, though, that the longer the Republicans, especially Trump, stay in office, the more judicial appointments they will be able to make that are unopposed, like Mr. “I’m still in law school,” and Mr. “I’ve never tried a case, ever.”

You have to wonder how much these states piss away defending these laws they know will be overturned. Texas has a robust economy but places like Alabama and Mississippi might as well be third world countries. Their schools have virtually no funding and they ranked last or second to last in every metric of development…

We need more Judge Yeakels these days.

Glad to see that one leg of the checks n balances system is working, at least.

I swear to fucking God, I will smack Crazy Little Thing Called Love out of that hack Levine’s over-vibratoed mouth. What the fuck was that. You leave my Freddie alone.

“As a yogi..” Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Go fuck yourself Simmons. Perhaps he’s like the Bikram yoga guy who assaulted women under the guise of enlightenment.

Fuck that sociopath.

Since I don’t see the Barf Bag today, I will leave this here: Texas’ epically horrible abortion ban has been struck down!!!

The expiration date on a lot of these things seems to be a year... which makes me strongly believe that they are just orchestrated for publicity.

YOU CAN’T MAKE GRAVY WITH HAM

YES!!!

I submit the superior large slab of meat....

Pork roast is perfectly yummy. Ham is bad. The world would be a better place if ham did not exist.

I had surgery recently in which I laid on the table, awake, watching a surgeon burn out veins in my leg with a laser. Doctor fires up the laser and there is this disgusting stench in the room and I say “OMG what is that smell?!” and the doctor says “Oh, that’s a taste, not a smell. We can’t smell anything. You’re…

Ugh Ham. Such a gross texture. Turkey’s good if you manage to cook it to just to right temp, though that window is tight and easy to miss.

The reason people hate turkey because they grew up eating from people who have no fucking clue about how to cook it correctly. If all you’ve ever eaten is tough, dried out turkey, you should hate it.

Beloved seasonal classic. Not to get all food snobby, but in my experience, the vast majority of people who dislike Thanksgiving turkey are the ones who don’t know how to cook it properly. Yes it takes a long time to make, this is why we only do it once a year. Not because it’s inferior to other foodstuffs. Brine it,…

Ham sucks unless you get some really expensive fancy ass ham and stick it in the Crock-Pot and then it just tastes like a sweeter version of pork roast anyway. Turkey is ok once a year but you better dry brine that bitch or else it belongs in the trash. Please do a piece on frozen yogurt so I can get REALLY passionate…