I wanted to be Nancy Drew going up. And have Carson be my dad. Not sure about Ned Nickerson. He always seemed distracted.

I hope they cast a badass lesbian as George. Because we all know George was a badass lesbian.

That her dad gave her. Nothing cool about a thirty year old getting a convertible from her dad. That's lame.

Right?

30-something? Please. Nance was 16 in 1930. If Nancy Drew were alive today, she’d be dead.

Don’t they both live in LA? I thought Bloom still lived there as well.

I kind of now need them to end up together. Like attracts like, right?

dming a celebrity and becoming their girlfriend crazy

UGH, it makes no fucking sense. Whoever chose them over ANYONE ELSE is Tom Cruise level crazy.

WHY IS COLDPLAY PLAYING THE SUPERBOWL? WHY ARE WE PRETENDING THAT BEYONCE IS A FEATURED ARTIST RATHER THAN ADMITTING THAT COLDPLAY IS GOING TO BE HER BACK-UP BAND?

Pretty, shows up to present things at award shows, but doesn’t actually seem to have done all that much in recent years. Bloom’s pretty much only got Pirates of the Caribbean and Lord of the Rings/Hobbit to his name, while Hudson’s career as the go-to RomCom girl is nearly a decade behind her. People still talk about…

I want to say that I will personally fill the ‘hate coldplay’ void that David Bowie left behind. BECAUSE I AM A GODDAMN HUMANITARIAN. GO TO HELL CHRIS MARTIN.

Katie Holmes is probably having uncomfortable flashbacks. There was a time when Tom Cruise’s publicist was planting stories of his heroism in the media on a regular basis.

Hot take: Orlando Bloom is the new Kate Hudson.

Ha, I love this! I’m gonna have a T-shirt printed saying, “I’m the COOL aunt, and you’re not,” and just smile enigmatically at everyone who reads it. Thank you!

People are weird. Sorry you're going through that mess, I can't believe this is how some folks choose to spend their energy. Happy 2016 and l8r to the h8rz

Hi sweetie! I know your “voice,” this is you all right. Hey, nobody really interesting is universally loved!

Hey Jezebellians!

Anyone have any good tales, tricks or hints for navigating/coping/thriving in a stoic conservative environment, when you’re like a total free-spirit?

(might just be the chirps of crickets and silverfish as answers, yet kinda curious if anyone out there can relate)