This is why we have affirmative consent, genius. Because maybe, just maybe, trying to be a decent person and not an asshole should be the goal.

Stop if you don’t hear a “yes”.

They do, but sometimes they can’t. How about teaching young men that only YES means yes?

There is something thrilling about a sexual partner who just “makes a move” and “takes control,” but this move-making should happen in response to correctly interpreted non-verbal clues, such as prolonged eye contact, a hand on the shoulder, and the positioning of the body to face each other. But sometimes non-verbal…

or we could teach men and boys that pressure and coercion are not acceptable and enthusiastic consent must be the standard everyone lives by.

I struggled with my would-be rapist for about 10 minutes while he pinned me down and worked my clothes off. Said no, stop, everything in the book. Eventually someone came in and saved me before he could achieve his full goal, but I was covered in deep bruises, had bloody bitten lips, and my muscles ached for days from…

Yeah because her saying “next time” and “I don’t want to feel forced” and repeatedly pulling away from him definitely wasn’t clear enough.

Yeah because her saying “next time” and “I don’t want to feel forced” and repeatedly pulling away from him definitely wasn’t clear enough.

In my case the abuse was over more quickly if I just gave in. He didn’t care/ didn’t notice that I was crying during and after.

We need to talk about consent with every young person. I realize now that no one talked about consent when I was growing up and it was years before I learned I was allowed to say no. My first sexual relationship was abusive and I don’t think I’ve ever developed a healthy relationship with sex, but I did slowly learn…

He was the second, so two of them did.

I am so sorry you had to go through that. What happened is not your fault. Women don’t deserve to get raped. It’s not a punishment for not doing what some of the assholes on this thread think women ‘should’ do. There are bad people who do bad things to women, and one of them did a terrible thing to you.

“No” doesn’t always work. That’s why we have a rape problem. You are part of that problem.

What’s your advice for me, then, frenchpressgirl? You’re all over this thread telling women how not to get raped. So I’d love to know what I should have done.

Here’s something that’s going to blow your mind; when a woman is alone with a man, the threat of physical violence is always present.

We also need to teach men to take no for an answer. To not pester. We need to teach them about consent! And teach them to respect women.

Easy to say, but women have been taught from the cradle to please others, to ‘not make a scene’, ‘not make waves’, be good little girls. They haven’t ‘given their power away,’ it’s been stripped from them since before they could talk.

All the conditioning is hard to overcome. You can’t just say, ‘women should do…

Yeah, while the onus for individual situations like this is of course still on the perpetrator these replies are indicative that we as a society need more prevalent and nuanced education for young men about consent. Although there are your Weinsteins and Tobacks and the like who get off on the fear and are incurable…

Yes.