My dad always led with his right ... then came the name calling

"While they go on to chronicle other mergers of sport and sexuality"

I called Sid "Slim".

"Sue Cooney, a 64-year-old woman hit in the face by Torii Hunter's sawed-off maple bat " - Hey, I think I know Sue Cooney ... Hunter did her a favor

That's Hideki Irabu, Jr., known locally as "The Fat Tadpole".

"Jimmer Fredette has been named the AP player of the year" - Its not what you think. The AP stands for "awaiting pussy".

So Linus was right all along.

Now see, you took it to an entirely different level... most of the unwashed masses saw that mouth agape and that pearl necklace and they were headed for the umpteenth Peter North joke. Well played.

I'm as big of a Ron White fan as the next guy, but I don't need to keep track of when he gets the shits.

Is this the new FTD ad?

... a pair of high school baseball players from Texas sacrificed chickens on their home field "in an effort to improve their performance."

I suppose the size could have been caused by radiation, but there is no mistaking that huge herpes zoster between Chicago and Rockford.

While you perverts all see dong, I see a trained seal performing a balancing act. Its just a coincidence that he also has huge nads.

@ Rare Endangered - "Sock-it-to-me!"

Well, Shit-fuck! So that's how 'ya do it. I'm ready to pop a greenie and go out and try it.

I do however, enjoy their "Brown-Eye of the Week". Last week's winner ... Bruce Pearl.

"Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!"

With "cop shocks"?

"sit out due to bulging dicks — er, discs — in the neck"

Pictured - Steven fights his way through the tight, titty-pinch defense employed by Richard Speck.