Why are Brian Cashman's pants lying on the dugout in front of Steinbrenner's private box?

You guys don't know what the fuck you're talking about. My job is important! I do lots of stuff! Double switches and shit like that ... aw, fuck it ... I need a drink

In an ill-conceived closing, Sepp tried to rally the ladies with a resounding, "SUCK ME BEAUTIFUL!"

Not bad, but he needed a snapping of the fingers, a jutting thumb, and a vigorous leg kick.

Your sister was better.

Better than front row at a Laker game when Kobe is feeling frisky ... its his "thang" 'ya know

GC, wow! An audible snort from me, followed by a raised eyebrow from the wife, who thought that I was on my laptop searching for a new rug. All I could tell her was "you got me Babe".

Also published when Wilt came into the league ... the Dickdrip Algorithm. Measures the spread of STDs from NBA city-to-city. Also known as the "scorched pussy trail".

Leitch is not that short, but I believe Bumblefuck is a suburb of Mattoon.

Much like Woody Harrelson's landlady in Kingpin, Claire Ruth demanded more than just hooch to complete the transaction.

No, Sarah Palin is America's right nut.

There is another guy on the IC campus who is 5'11", but he can't jump for shit. Spends most of his time on his knees... we call him Blewboy

Who amongst us has not dreamed of kicking some jerk right in the pie-hole? The greeter at Walmart... the snarky, pizza delivery boy ... the LDS dudes ringing the doorbell ... Drew Magery...

"algorithm"

"Yacht to not pay that much for a boat"

Smeller's the fellar!

Well, she has the chicken neck part down ... but I'm seeing way too much teeth.

He's probably just a massage/sex chair salesman. Let him come on over.

My Dad told me that Mom's "hot water bottle" was the most important thing in the house, and if he caught me playing with it he would kick my ass.

Yes, its called marriage.