Wow! Does he really decapitate his receivers?

That's what the cowbells are for ...

You'd be testy too if it just dawned on you that those same fingers pulled jiz off Ben Stiller's ear.

I guess New York is no different than any other town. There's always some loser 24-yr old who still hangs out with the high schoolers and buys them beer.

I think Stymie99 really, really, really, really wants that bear.

Hell, just sign up for night classes. Those fuckers all go to bed at 6:30 PM.

As AJ continues to make the Jets his "bitch", at what point do they just say "fuck-it" ... and hire a hitman.

HELTER SKELTER™

"GOOOOOOD MORNINNNNG, DALLLLAS! Put on the coffee ... and get yourself some BIG DICK IN THE A.M."

"the Ranger "misled and manipulated" him" - suddenly alone, Tonto regrets baring both his sole and his ass to Kemo Sabe

Wow, for a fleeting moment there I had a star! Not a gold star, mind you, but a gray somewhat translucent star. Noticed the same thing on Polk Panther. And then it was gone ... much like the beej my wife promised if I cleaned out the garage. Now I have no star and no beej, just a clean garage.

This is like coming home from work to find that your wife has thrown out your old, comfortable sweats and left you with an ill-fitting, stylish new outfit ... because that's what she likes.

The NFLPA told the players to prepare in the event of a lockout and I knew that Romo signed a contract with Starter, but I assumed it was for advertising, not snow removal.

@Armen Tamzarian: Check the snowblower...

When you get to be my age Brian, that base bend won't look quite so awkward.

"Kids aren't fucking idiots. You can tell them the truth and they'll be just fine. Let them learn. Don't whitewash everything just to protect their precious innocence."

@THEGINOCIMOLICONSPIRACY: Sidney Toler is rikewise, at a ross.

My uncle sorta did the same thing at a middle school game, except he had no costume. When he got to "here is my spout" ... they cuffed him.

"sexual imposition" ... that's what my wife called our honeymoon

Hell, my computer is chock full of racist e-mails and porn. How do I get paid to sit home from work and look at it?