@SteveNaismith: "No Maas"

@David Hume: Well, if the Pros are using it then I want some too? Is a check ok?

@WashingtonForeskins: You aren't trying to tell me that Artie Lange went the other direction?

@tastes_like_burning: Had an old girlfriend give me a beta once. When I had to go out of town for a few days I asked a guy I work with to feed it, and it only took him two days to kill it. Instead of telling him, I drained the bowl and put a little tape outline of a fish body in the bottom of the bowl. I topped it off…

@Same Sad Echo: I'd like to come home and not find my clothes on the lawn. My nights out ended when the kid arrived. Keep DUAN'n boys ... I live vicariously through you guys.

@MelrosesMullet: Leave Birmingham.

@Walk Off HBP: Everyone always blamed Gilligan for fucking up all of the escape plans, but I ask you... if you were the youngest guy stuck on an island with Ginger and Maryann, what would you do?

If I follow the timeline correctly, he texts this chick in September 2010, after the Sterger stuff hit DS in August???

Looks like camo-pants dude must be sport'n morning wood.

Most of the locker room goodbyes were some variation of "I Love You Man", but of course there was the occasional "Suck it, Gil".

@Walk Off HBP: HUH! Good God Y'all!

@Telemundo: Yes, but it was carefully worded to distinguish it from the "professional" matches. No refunds forthcoming.

"Ecru-Man Can Jump"

@fat-leaveher: Doppler radar also picked up what appeared to be a flying pig.

@WashingtonForeskins: Mine usually involves an extended footchase and a 911 call.

@Rainbow Bright: Gonna need a bigger Weber...

@vodkanaut: Implied side effects? Smooth skin... but tuna breath.

@SavetoFavorites: Come on guys. We were all that kid... or we wouldn't be here doing this now.

@GusJohnsonNarratesMyLife: And a withered Rock Hudson also once sent a pick-me-up bouquet to Magic Johnson.

@MaverickIsAirborne: Alternate punchline ...Jack & Marilyn