I think I might be dead now.

Hey David Muir, you seem sad; why the long face?

I and my current celeb crush (Nick Frost) concur.

I hate Ross Gellar. I know he has a different name in real life, but I loathe his character so much, it's impossible to separate the two.

On the flip side, I never thought he and Miss Piggy were even together. I thought she was sexually harassing him all these years.

Cèilidh

Bradley Cooper is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo in love with all the press he’s getting from pretending to be sexually interested in Irina Shayk.

I would prefer that he put a few more of these under his belt. Then he and I could talk. . .

Re: Miley’s “undetectable ass” - can we just leave body shaming to the assholes who are already doing it so well and, as feminists, not shame each other’s bodies?

We never had celebrity visits when I was a kid in the hospital, but do you know what was the highlight of my week? The day when people brought in “therapy” animals. People often brought in friendly dogs and let us snuggle with them and play with them. One time this lady brought in four golden retriever puppies and…

Is it just me that cringes whenever people confuse “breathe” and “breath”?

big and carrie are the WORST, both as individuals and as a couple. which I guess makes them pretty perfect for each other?

I like Kirsten Dunst, but I also do not. Anyone else feel that way?

IDGAF about that chair, Chrissie, but I will gladly take that dog.

Especially when they are generally pretty hairy except for a neatly shaved bald patch surrounding their weiner. Yikes. That is the least sexy thing ever.

Sorry Bobby but I would’ve gone with Bort here.

Ignore the other buttbrains. They are delicious. Fry up some eggs, toast up some bread, skillet you some sausage, add Heinz English Baked Beans. Delicious. Fried breakfast potatoes are also a great addition. When I heat my beans up I add some hot sauce and pepper. They aren’t like our bbq beans so if you don’t go in…

Ghosts won’t sleep with your husband. Or wife. Or, you know, anyone else who isn’t a ghost

Or, they’re both really un-nice people who spend their time beating other people up for money. Frankly, I wouldn’t want to have dinner with either of them. I’m guessing both of them are poor conversationalists whose favourite topic is how great they are. I’m not sure why MMA is suddenly great with Rousey does it.

Because he has an irritating as fuck face.