All of these Chris’s owe a debt of gratitude to the OG Chris thirst trap. Chris Elliot.

Paul Rudd was last year’s SMA, how dare you.

Chris Evan’s is my favorite Chris and he seems like an overall good and decent person. I’m a-ok with this. His love of his dog also scores him huge points with me.

And still, nothing for the face aging diagonally.

Cruz is not a clueless man. I think he sets himself up to be publicly ridiculed on purpose. That’s his particular kink. He and Heidi probably came back from New York, put the Yankee game heckling on loop and set the bedroom on fire.

What a fucking spineless loser.

Seriously, gotta be precise about this stuff.

Ted Cruz's dad killed JFK is the unfounded rumour. Ted Cruz himself is, however, the Zodiac Killer.

I work in abortion care and lots of people ask to see their tissue afterwards. We need more publicity around that—plenty of people look at their own abortions and it affirms their choice, curiosity, and closure. But for some reason it’s considered “icky” in the mainstream so people don’t talk about it. Another area of…

I had a miscarriage at six weeks. It was hard to distinguish blood/gestational sac from anything else I passed.

This is exactly the propaganda we need to counter all those assholes waving pictures of a sleeping two-month-old baby. Let’s saturate the world with it.

I don’t watch youTube politainment. I do recall lots of liberal bloggers back in the day declaring that Rachel Maddow or John Stewart etc. had eviscerated somebody. People were getting eviscerated every day. The streets ran red with blood.

FiveThiryEight’s average of recent polling

GWEN. EFFING. SHAMBLIN.

I’ll only accept this if the only music you can attach to your profile is old-school style MySpace page midi files. Bring on the plinky plinky renditions of Late Nights and Montero. 

Since everything old is new again I say: Bring back the Top Eight you cowards! Might as well just really lean in to making social media chaotic.

I’m not particularly comfortable with the way Jezebel appears to be treating OW. It seems there’s a finger in the air approach to which female celebrities will be supported and those who will be vilified, and even that changes week to week. There’s appropriate criticism, and then there’s stuff like this which amounts…

“her sophomoric directorial debut”

Guys guys guys guys. The police didn’t have any WHITE PEOPLE reports of this exact thing happening in this exact location. Therefore, by only following the lack of facts, and lack of "colored" people who were murdered coming forward with evidence of their murder, they had no choice but to not act.

Note: These schools can be found on the same “parental rights” hill that the right is currently determined to die on, because the large majority of them are affiliated with right-wing evangelical churches.