Alton Brown has a homemade candy corn recipe. Reckon it tastes a lot better than store-bought.

Always with the dry onion soup mix. I try to avoid sodium bombs. Regular onion powder probably works just as well.

Replace the spuds/noodles with packaged rice pilaf mix and you have the most complex recipe my dad ever came up with. He’s not midwestern, he’s just a lazy cook.

I make meatloaf by using the pan merely to shape the loaf. I bake it on a sheet pan. Grease runs off, and you can get a nice glaze going.

Obama has been out of office for some years now. Also, way to inject your political opinions into a post about FOOD.

Hey, I don’t mind women who look like they could throw me over their shoulder with ease...

I run on the assumption that the TSA agent will arbitrarily declare something forbidden if it’s something they want. So, if the TSA agent is hungry, I’m not keeping my food.

More like it represents “the bosses at Fox don’t like it when I express an opinion that ISN’T objectively terrible, so I’m getting a side hustle ready for when they inevitably fire me.”

If the Clintons can bump off anyone they want, why is Hillary not President?

Apple has always been like this. This is why I always seek their competitors’ products. Less expensive, less locked-down, better performance.

A lot of Boston’s signature dishes involve shellfish, which I’m not a fan of. I do love me a Yankee Pot Roast, but I’ve yet to find a place that makes one better than my own. Find a place that makes baked beans from scratch and the canned ones will never taste the same again.

Yeah, the moment they mentioned Fortnite, I stopped reading. That’s little more than a daycare that keeps kids out of the more serious games. A freemium ripoff of a superior game.

Right back atcha, New York boy. What else you gonna steal from Boston? Beans? Swan boats? The Citgo sign? We’ve seen the abomination that resulted when you stole clam chowder!

Now I want a pizza crunch. You bastard.

I prefer to stay indoors.

You can cook a frozen steak on the grill straight from the freezer. Sear the outside for like seven minutes, then use indirect grilling to roast it for another twelve. This assumes a thick steak, like 1.5 inches (ribeye). This will give you a lovely medium-rare steak.

Back in the 90s, my high school had a film scanner about the size of a webcam. Okay, it was effectively a webcam. You put your negatives in a plastic sleeve and fed it through, screenshotting when you came to the pic you wanted. The software automatically inverted the colors in real-time.

On Facebook, I’ve seen right-wingers share memes expressing the opposite of this. Encouraging immigrants to make it easy to arrest and convict them.

Considering how often right-wingers lie about this issue, I’m willing to bet you never HAD a nephew.

We diagnose it better now. Back in the day, kids would just die. The media didn’t report on it because we didn’t have 24/7 worldwide news back then, just local stations who had their hands full with the 6 o’clock news.