Saffron. Because Thanksgiving isn’t expensive enough.

These people never turn out fine.  The fact that they want to hit kids is proof enough.

GET. AN. ELECTRIC. KNIFE.

I learned a new word today! Any day you learn something new can’t be a waste.

Those voting machines are functioning exactly as designed. Diebold promised to swing the election to Bush the Lesser, and they did.

It’s a pity electric cars don’t have gears, so there’s no point in installing a manual transmission (great anti-theft device, that).

IT ACTUALLY WHISPERS! I EXPECTED IT TO JUST LOWER THE VOLUME!

Streisand Effect. She could’ve just shut up and been forgotten. But nooooo, now she’s gone and put her real name out there. Hope she isn’t all that attached to Facebook.

Once you’re over someone, I imagine having no-strings-attached sex with them is probably a lot of fun. You already know what they like in bed.

My takeaway is that these guys were hoping for an excuse to start a Vegas style massacre of “libz” and they didn’t get the perfect storm this time. THIS TIME.

Shush them a lot?

If I ate this on the regular, I’d already be dead.

When we finally declare that Trump’s election is not legitimate, I hope that carries over to everyone he appointed.

Fuck the Yankees.

Note that Monopoly isn’t on this list. No one should play Monopoly. It’s a horribly broken game even when played right... and hardly anyone plays it right.

From what I’ve seen... THEY DON’T.

It’s the Yankees. The hotel was probably chosen PRECISELY because there was a picket line to cross.

IF ONLY THERE WERE A 99.9999% RELIABLE WAY TO AVOID SUCH ALLEGATIONS... SOMETHING YOU COULD JUST NOT DO...

If this is how low someone sets the bar on “feeling disrespected,” I’m guessing they think everyone they meet “disrespects” them. Must be a miserable experience.