PASTE. Curry PASTE.

* Greek yogurt (plain) can sub in for half the mayo in almost any given recipe. Especially when it’s the texture you want more than the flavor. You can make slaw that’s vaguely healthy.

I am amused that you get the seeds by buying a box of Honey Nut Cheerios.

“I told you not to call me that at work!”

Found the smoker.

Clicking where, exactly?

Thermapen. Obvious reasons.

You also have to be able to PROVE that it’s discrimination or retaliation. If your homophobic boss finds out that you’re gay, and ten minutes later he’s giving you a speech on how you’re just not fitting in (despite all your coworkers loving you), you have effectively been fired for being gay. Even though that’s not…

The beach is overrated.

Where are you getting burgers where they don’t let the meat rest and reabsorb its juices?

Now I want an ice cream burrito.

Antivaxxers are bringing back diseases from the brink of extermination. They would rather have a dead child than one who wasn’t neurotypical (that’s their reasoning, I’m not saying there’s an actual link between the two BECAUSE THERE ISN’T).

Or you could just go to Fark and get a site with better design and actual moderation.

*insert sexist, unfunny joke about women and credit cards here*

Technically, that’s not skin. That’s breading.

“THAT’S THE KIND OF PASSWORD AN IDIOT WOULD PUT ON HIS LUGGAGE!”

What DOESN’T would be a shorter list. Each Apple product is designed from the ground up to irritate me.

I hated homework. Dad would always make me tackle the toughest subject first “to get it over with.” Except that I was bad at math, and I’d struggle for hours with it (had a few teachers who used homework as a crutch). I wouldn’t finish my math homework, I wouldn’t get the chance to START any of my other homework, and…

People who order lemon water in restaurants intend to dump a few sugar packets into it and think they’ve gotten free lemonade.

With the destruction of Net Neutrality, streaming services that compete with cable channels will be slowed to the point of nonfunctionality unless bribe money is paid by both the service and the end user. Hit up the used CD stores and stock up.