You are significantly underselling Dr. Oz. Also the airtime she gave to Jenny McCarthy.

My kids love the rides/arcade on the boardwalk. But after a few rides and games, we say - “Well we are out of tickets today, we will have to come back another day when we get more.” They don’t know we have a refillable card, that will pretty much last all summer. 

My mother has passed down “if you lie your penis will fall off” my 6year now regularly tells her brother that (granted the kid has some tall tales ) . It’s hilarious 

When my son doesn't want to go grocery shopping with Mom, and stay home with dad I tell him that dad is cleaning up dog poop, and toilets, he can help. Tune changes real quick. Or when my wife and I want to go to dinner alone. We tell him we are going to dinner to eat escargot. He would rather stay with Grandma.

“If it seems like I am picking and choosing the parts I like from this book here, it’s because I very much am.”

Not disagreeing, but you should also note that a significant portion of the take goes to social programs, such as education. It’s not to be confused with a charity (your money would do more good if you donated it), and it’s overwhelmingly funded by lower income individuals, but it’s also not the same as a casino’s…

If Donald Trump can get elected president and the Chicago Cubs can win the World Series, I can win the lottery.

My chances are 1 out of 1 because I asked for the winning ticket. I know it sounds like a cat poster, but you gotta believe.

No. You are not. You’re defending a woman who proclaims that a group of peaceful black people is a riot.

Carol Channing

Pete Wentz, Wenthworth Miller, Rashida Jones and Meghan Markle are on conference call, line 1. 

You misunderstood me. You don't have to get confrontational. This woman could have easily asked to speak with the adult in charge of the group, explained what the problem was and found a peaceful resolution (maybe the kids could stand somewhere other than by the pumps or blocking the doors). Immediately calling police…

You seem really interested in excusing the bullshit white person behavior of calling the cops on black people for existing.

Scratch that.  I just realized you aren’t here to do anything other than spread your narrative.  My bad for replying.  

“In 2018 we are only able to reason with people of our own race. I hate it, but it is what it is.”

I’ve never been to Reagan, but I certainly worked at a bookstore in National for two years during college.

It is a matter of historical record that when an animal escapes from the National Zoo, they travel Rock Creek Park up to Adams-Morgan to forage in the restaurant dumpsters.

I laughed at urea. My daughter went to daycare in Silver Spring for a few years. She picked up the DC accent on certain words like water and tell - my husband and I are Midwesterners. I moved away from PG County recently and it makes me smile every time I hear it in her tiny, muppet-like voice.

That’s a much more recent development. I spent the first two decades of my life in D.C. and still visit regularly, and it was quadrant first, streets second. That neighborhood shit snuck in with the whites, as they tried to class up the neighborhoods where cats used to buy crack (e.g., Petworth).