This pretty much sums up my view on that shitty illustration.

Occasionally we will get a package of cured meats (prosciutto, capocollo, salmi, etc) from Costco and I always end up eating a fair amount of those meats just straight from the package. And I regret nothing.

The Beyhive is going to do what the Justice system wouldn’t.

Even if they all decided he was faking it - they all literally stopped the learning for the other kids in the class to do this?  That’s super irresponsible, plus gives the faking sleep kiddo attention, which is what those kind of jokers crave.  Ignore him, teach the other kids, if faking is the thing.  But stopping…

The funny thing is, if you let kids frustrate you, you’re letting them have power over you. Being a teacher is about creating a safe and respectful space, clearly this isn’t, and I can promise kids aren’t learning at the level that they should be because of it. 

The implicit threat of violence with the potential of severe bodily harm is traumatizing. You would not be okay with it if an officer came into class and threatened your child with a potentially deadly weapon.

I’m not. This is just stupid, and there are many ways beyond using a potentially lethal device to wake an unresponsive person. This is at the maturity level of me poking my brother in the ear with the end of a broken Hula Hoop to wake him up...when I was 9.

When my dad walked among us, he used to longingly examine produce in the grocery store and say things like “you’re looking good and coming home with me tonight!”

My son called them the “constructions” when he was little. Of course, now I can’t think of them any other way.

“...so you should never put bananas, in the refrigerator. No no no!” My late father’s Chaquita banana song for eating bananas. This is why I always buy Chaquita and never DelMonte.

Zaddy Goldblum is my everything.

This is my first news item of the day today and you know what? Fuck the rest! All I need to know about the world is Jeff Goldblum sings food songs. Thanks!

Sauerkraut, you look like straw

this is far more charming than when my wife did it in our home.

“Some cats are pretty damn smart.”

I tried giving Thomas cheap cat food. But he refused to eat it. I only buy him quality cans of food now. And you can find me in the pet food aisle murmuring out loud: “no, no he does not like beef”.

If I say “Go see Daddy,” he’ll run and find my husband, wherever he is in the house. Likeways, if the hubby says “Go see Mommy,” I’ll find myself looking at an expectant furry face in moments.

There’s a new cat in my neighborhood I’ve been wanted to get to know and last night I ran into him - he was across the street and I crouched down and said “Hi Kitty-kitty!” and he meowed back at me like “Rude! I’m busy!” and now I’m worried I just did the equivalent of when men tell me to smile. 

https://xkcd.com/231/

That is exactly what I told everyone on my chat group.