As soon as that happened, Mr. Haslam said, "pull the trigger."

(takes pie to face)

Yeah, stupid athletes, they wouldn't have these problems if they had been smart enough to be born into a family that could afford to give them money.

"...and here come the pretzels!"

He's late to the party. Everyone else in Ohio learned about the Blue Jackets last week.

The lovely romance of a machine. The beauty of mechanics. The inherent poetry that is people with hands moving numbers into squares. The tangible joy of little children seeing green and white squares being moved around. The delight one feels when knowing people lift with their legs and shift wood into spots.

The problem with the people that keep pointing out Lueke's history is that it ignores the possibility for redemption despite a checkered past. People make mistakes and they grow as a result of it. Yes, it's an ugly truth. Nobody is going to deny it. But the fact remains: many people have gone on from being members of…

Tallahassee police were not able to identify Winston as the suspect until Jan. 10, when the accuser recognized him in class.

Marine Todd to the rescue!

Mute away. Especially if you've got a Nielsen box.

He cried into a towel, and on multiple instances, retched into a bucket at his feet.

Oh thank goodness. Usually when I read "Pittsburgh" and "exploding tub of popcorn" I just assume someone in town was murdered.

So two of the key witnesses involved are being charged with conduct violations in relation to "the incident", wherein that "incident" is apparently considered not to have been "an incident" as far as the star quarterback was concerned.

As long as he's not gay he can still look forward to a long career in the NFL.

After reading this article, I don't really care for this guy!

I look forward to the endless arguments between new-wave SABRmetricians trying to prove that Trout's contract is statistically the worst in baseball, while old-school diehards insist that you can clearly tell using your Mk. 1 Eyeball that Cabrera's contract is much worse.

" You still there 3?"

He also said, off the record, he would prefer more screen doors on the nation's submarines, and a solar powered flashlight in every home...for emergency purposes.

He'll turn up.

beer snobs are the worst