"I don't usually share drama on social media"

The guy may not be a criminal, but wearing that shirt with the white crew neck underneath most definitely is.

"EGON!"

- Hawk Harrelson

Sam: "I dunno, Coach. Even washed-up golfers are giving me shit. This is a really difficult time for me..."

For vain, whiny young women who mistakenly believe in their own relevance as they are cocooned in a bubble of their own outsized egos, Dunham and Mindy Kaling are the Russell and Chamberlain.

Looks like she might be changing her name to Gracie Silver! I mean, if she meets a nice Jewish boy in college and if they fall in love and eventually get married and if she's into changing her name, which is totally up to her, I mean, I understand her wanting to keep her own identity if that's her thing, but it's…

“I’m not sure I want to live in a world where every professional athlete is in better shape then I am.”

*Interceptions

Apocalypse Brown

While this is obviously hilarious, I can't tell whether it further demonstrates Cleveland's incompetence or is the first sign of competence in a while. Is it possible that it is both? It kind of seems like it's both.

Joe will now have ample time to comb-over job ads on the internet.

As a constitutional scholar, I find it appalling that they'd try to restrict his 1st amendment right to hurl profane insults at 19 year-olds.

When asked about his post-football career, Jared said he was looking forward to crossing things off his bucket list, most notably the 96 piece one from KFC.

We should have boycotted, plain and simple. We trot out the old chestnut, "but what about the athletes?" as if some American's right to be subsidized by the government and some corporation in some bullshit sport outweighs the cost of endorsing what the Putin dictatorship has become.

Brunell: We've got to find a way to get rid of the scourge of "grass" invading our fields!

There wasn't a single brown fan attending the parade.

Oh man, that's gonna ruin Bennett's season.

[Siiiiiiigh]

God willing, The Good and Honorable Roger Goodell is hard at work writing a new rule that outlaws the show of emotion and/or enthusiasm during a post-game interview after an exciting end to an NFL playoff game. We need to think of the children and — most importantly — The Shield!

"hide my guns" "where's my weed" "throw me the football"