"Alexis has a testicle like this."

This is news? My testes have resembled balloons for years.

Millen: I’m telling you man…. receivers man… receivers.. they are going to start taking over the league man, I can see it…you can probably just draft a team of all receivers man… and you’d win… they’d be all like “throw me the ball man” and you’d throw them the ball because they’d be everywhere… totally…

Turns out Dr. Sphincter Rumpczek is actually a gynecologist.

God, the disdain with which Wilbon says the word "Deadspin" gave me a goddamn erection. Just knowing he hates all of us warms my cold dead heart. Suck a bushel of dicks, Wilbon.

Oh man, why's the video so short? I wanted to hear what these unassailable paragons of journalistic integrity had to say about Ciroc Ultra Premium Vodka another seven or eight minutes down their list.

Now, all those players will be able to add moral bankruptcy to their financial bankruptcy.

"jus' god punishin' them san fran queers n packers!" - Mike Priefer

Greg Oden has made every attempt to come back from his injuries. There's no need to insult his toughness.

"Now THAT was premature!" —Rick Pitino

The pure joy on display at going 8-8 for the second time in three years (book-ending a 6-10 season) and the coach not being fired because of it tells you all you need to know about the New York Jets.

The Ghost of Romo Pass

"This joke is an organization." - Yakov Smirnoff

"This organization is a joke." - Vladimir Lenin

luckily for the QB, he will probably get to stay in-state when the Browns draft him solely for that pass

During the holidays, it's nice to see a story with a happy ending.

Man, I wonder which team official was behind The Wheel. Hopefully not Jason Kidd.

I think you said the loud part soft and the soft part loud.

Now if you excuse me I have to get ready for my date with burping champion Eudora Welty.

But Football in a Groin had a football in a groin.