Fuck you.

Fuck A-Rod but it seems like MLB doesn't have a problem in violating the CBA. Also, anything that causes the Yankees inconvenience will always have my blessing.

I've been called the Lamar Odom of screws too, but only because I can't cum unless I'm full of (sour patch) Kids.

-John Mark Karr

The only good part of the Braun/Biogenesis hoopla is that Buster Olney will never write another column. His hands are worn to numbs from all the wringing.

"I think I ended up sprawled across a few rows, and I got some cheese on myself..."

"My Lord! That Aaron Hernandez is a criminal fucking mastermind!"
-Trig Palin

NE Patriots TE Depth Chart:

Week One:
Rob Gronkowski - DNP - Herpes
Aaron Hernandez - DNP - Murder One
Tim Tebow - DNP - Fucking Awful

Chuck Booms thinks this is the funniest thing he's ever fucking heard.

"Can't wait!"
-Najeh Davenport

+1

As a Cleveland Indians fan, all i can say is vigorously go fuck yourself Eric Wedge.

Sad. I always thought he'd be done in by a swollen prostate.

I suppose the US's foreign policy in Afghanistan to this point, has been a circle jerk.

George Preston Marshall was also the founder of the Premier League's Berlin Kikes.

Thought she was a burglar? Frankly, that's a lame defense. I don't think Pistorius has a leg to stand on.

Browns v. Broncos?

Sheer genius.

"Find the Asshole. That's where the knuckle goes."

Spoiler Alert: Manti T'eo's dead girlfriend was actually Kaiser Soze.

Which is the most important muscle group to work on for killing Afghan villagers?