I don't know. Cleatus is still more insightful than CBS's version of a lifeless robot, Jim Nance

brilliant!

"What a bunch of bullshit. Rain was never delayed me from beating the Yankees."

"Venezuelan Man Is Good At Baseball, BBC Is Shocked To Report."

"Tonight's...BYU Game a 'Clusterfuck'."

Ha!

"I saw Magic Johnson... and there he was sitting on the shower floor just sobbing with water running down over him."

"that one was written in the third person includes a lewd title and is a love story between a boy and a man."

"Just outside the bar entrance, I see two girls sitting on the sidewalk and one of them warns me to not step in a pile of vomit that's nearby. I sense an opening and start talking to them."

wow. +1

"Five And A Half Minutes Of Pro Wrestler Beating Up Inanimate Objects"

What a dickhead.

"Razorbacks wide receivers Maudrecus Humphrey, Marquel Wade and tight end Andrew Peterson..."

+13 inches

I don't get it. What are Tubbs and Crocket doing in Boston?

I'm assuming this is the opening number.

"As cute as that was, that's not good at a major leauge game, that's a fact."

"Sandwiched between inflammatory lede and kicker..."

"Fuck you Jackson you can't leave before me!"