I will eat the berry for lunch. 

PSA: If you strain this hard during your Deuce you will blow an O-ring.

Could we get an edit on that headline and remove the word “captured”? She was a young girl, not an escaped convict or an animal that needed to be picked up somewhere. She was not captured. She was abducted. She was kidnapped and murdered.

Funnily enough, that’s why our court system has judges schooled in the law and doesn’t rely on anonymous internet commenters for verdicts and punishments.

This gives me hope that one day, Barron may be a dreadlocked budtender freeganing his way through Tucson and giving long rambling interviews to whoever will buy him a beer.

Forget it Jake, it’s Casual Fan Town.

I don’t think that counts as a Certificate of Authenticity.

The funniest line in this post was “Additional reporting by Tom Ley.”

Would Jez be giving this rather mundane non-story as much press if the Kesha/ Dr Luke thing wasn’t going on?

ghosts

Alas, they have nothing to show for it.

Suprised that Ramos didn’t collapse and roll around in pain in order to get them both sent off.

Billy Haisley wrote all the words and doesn’t have much to show for it.

Would the name of a quarterback who is simultaneously underqualified and overqualified for every NFL team be “Schrodinger’s Kaep”?

Hmm...Law abiding gun owners ignoring the rules....Ok then.

What in the everloving fuck.

I think Cleveland not only has to pass the ball, but also catch it

It could also be argued the parents watching her are hallucinating, since those precise paint patterns don’t just “happen” in nature.

There should really be a disclaimer warning drivers not to drop acid while driving their Nissan Rogue Midnight Edition.

Who’s already sick of that stupid “black sheep” Nissan ad? That girl spilled paint all over the damn driveway. I’M NOT CLEANING THAT SHIT UP MISSY!

We’ve also long since passed Peak Tom Middleditch.