Logged in for the first time in ~ a year to like this. This burn is so long, slow, and good, that ghost peppers are looking for a new job.

Bush > Live as a subjective upgrade. Oh, HfM, how I used to respect you so.

As a lifelong Mariner’s fan (save your pity, the doom of our tribe has been written in the stars since 1977) I demand that highlight videos of Vlad Sr hitting “everything” come with a trigger warning.

Fucking great. Now we’re going to have to develop hobbies.

Best Deadspin comment of 2019? Best Deadspin comment of 2019.

In the old days, before the white men came and settled, there were comments like these stretching from horizon to horizon.

BRING BACK BEAR FRIDAY!

Holy jesus fucking shit. You flush while sitting down and spray your entire ass and backside of your legs with your turd juice!? Fuck you’re even more disgusting/gross/idiotic than I thought at the beginning of this conversation. I mean, you couldn’t have a worse system if you fucking tried man. Jesus.

Those of you wise enough to read Splinter should understand that the two best candidates policy-wise in the Democratic primary are Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren.

What’s the optimal number of dogs to have?

This is single handedly one of the worst opinions I’ve ever seen in the kinja comment section. You should be fucking proud, as that’s a competitive ass field. Holy shit is “knowing the ending before starting shouldn’t affect your experience of the show/movie/book/etc” a remarkably dumb take.

Warum indeed.

It’s good to have you back Drew.

HOT TAKE:

Is no one going to call out Alex for being paid to write about this show and not knowing the difference between wight and a White Walker 8 seasons in?

I am familiar with how it’s done. As we’ve already covered half of the world’s population (who use sit toilets anyway) use this method. My point is that it’s a bad idea and unnecessarily gross. Sometimes acting like a reasonable human being is worth a little extra effort.

You’re gross and you know it. Sitting and wiping is a terrible and stupid idea.

Whether you go front, or back your hand is going into the toilet above your fresh steamer. Unless your asshole is in a totally different location than standard, in which case I’ll need a diagram illustrating exactly what you have going on. Defending your disgusting technique on a technicality doesn’t make it any less…

At least in that case his friends/family would be evolved enough to intuitively know it’s a really dumb idea to stick your hand between your legs and into the toilet you just took a steamer into.

Hey Thanos, that’s 50% of the population you’re firing into the sun who are intuitively smart enough to know it makes a whole lot more sense to not stick your hand between your legs INTO the fucking toilet you just shit in.