“You can’t row the boat if the oar weighs more than you.”

-PJ Fleck

It’s not just childish, it’s childish w/ a strong hatred and resentment of women that comes from a sense of entitlement.

 Especially a high schooler who couldn’t get a girl to go near his dick even if he had a family of Ben Franklins hanging out of his fly.

Here’s the Howard Schultz campaign theme:

Colin Cowherd is furiously re-enacting scenes from“A Beautiful Mind” in order to somehow connect it all to John Wall dancing.

It's amazing, you don't even see his lips move!!

The View could really develop a nice call and response between her and the audience if every time she brought up McCain as her father the audience would respond “That’s why you’re here!”

She’s flogged that corpse so much her LinkedIn profile lists “Grave Robber” as a newly acquired skill.

Now now, they’re just economically anxious, bless their hearts.

I always appreciated that High West was open (and unapologetic) about sourcing, unlike some outfits *cough* Templeton Rye! *cough*

True, though it would be perfectly on-brand for the Mets if other teams just started fucking with them by trying to filter random fake rumors through her.

In this case someone who’s supposed to be analyzing the game is now working for a specific team and as a broadcaster might have access to another team she wouldn’t have had if she were just an employee of the Mets . If Mendoza finds out information about a competing team that she gleaned at her ESPN job can/will she…

I’m going to believe that this all started when Kyrie found out that Jaylen Brown posted a negative review of “Uncle Drew” on Rotten Tomatoes. 

Nah, she was adopted by one of the Sherpas, so unless he has a fenced-in suburban yard in Kathmandu, she’s still probably hanging out and climbing mountains. And her name was changed to reflect that she climbed the mountain.

“I don’t own a ranch, let alone many ranches that would necessitate taking your cows”.

Those mugs are both a drinking vessel and a receptacle for piss beer, and beer piss. 

Sent from my Galaxy Tab

“Sent from the burner phone I had to buy at the Kum & Go with cash” is a far more accurate post script for so many of these emails.

Look, you can’t just go around bad-mouthing Celine Dion and not expect there to be consequences.

If you want to roast your own beans, something like this works really well, and you can usually find used versions at thrift stores for like $5: