Did you do the thing where you fill up in New Jersey right before you cross the state line in Pennsylvania, and then fill up again on the way back right before you leave Ohio? I fucking hate PA with their usurious gas prices and annoying sports fans.

Have to disagree: in order to feel embarrassment one must first be capable of feeling shame. If there’s on thing that has been demonstrated repeatedly over the course of the last six years is that they are as devoid of shame as I am devoid of fucks about them, so I’m pretty sure these tweets do not qualify as…

So “Dayton style” pizza seems to be a reference to Cassano’s, which is unique because (at least in their non-corporate restaurants) their claim-to-fame has been pizza baked in wood-fired ovens with a layer of salt underneath to assist in removing the pizza from the oven, lending this... “unique” salty finish that…

There is nothing worse than St. Louis-style pizza. Imagine that stadium nachos had an affair with some thing crust pizza, and thanks to the repeal of Roe v. Wade there is no Planned Pizzahood- the product of this blasphemy is St. Louis-style pizza. Here in Cincy we have a close second with Larosa’s (sickly sweet…

A poisonous dust, killing the poor soul who had the misfortune of opening it, with the dust forming the face of Bowser in the air before dissipating into the ether

It’s also super easy not to talk to your dad for three weeks when you’re a junior at NYU and he’s an actor who is pretty much anywhere in the world at any given time. 

...

I would totally buy this if it were on the shelf in a store- absolute carnivore but I love trying fake meat products. Wouldn’t be a regular staple but it certainly looks fun! 

Yeah, these guys often NEVER get their comeuppance. Strom Thurmond was a racist piece of shit who lived to 101 and won every election and made life miserable to us at every turn and most likely died peacefully in his sleep. If there really was karma he’d get run over by a bus and die an excruciatingly painful and long…

I see far, far more instruments in this video than I hear. Also- is that Howard Levy on the harmonica? 

So if he had just touched one would they have just made him sit in business class on flights? What a fucking travesty. Even if it’s just for the sake of optics they absolutely should appeal this nonsense.

We have a cop in Cincinnati who claims that she’s been desensitized by rap music and that caused her racist remarks. And just the other day my dog ate some swiss cheese and sounded like Snoop Dog circa 1994. Incredible.

The original Friday the 13th. I was ten, and it was on HBO at like 11:30. Stayed for the promise of boobs, ended up scarred for weeks. 

We are in 100% agreement on that one, my friend.

Or Trump, who regularly body shames others but we’re not allowed to comment on his, er, physique? 

Counterpoint: he’s a massive dick and I don’t really give a shit if they body shame his weird-assed chalky melted Stretch Armstrong body.

Are you serious? Applebee’s may suck, but Applebee’s bathroom > gas station bathroom 99% of the time. Gas station bathrooms are the worst bathrooms, by far- especially the ones just off the interstate. This is a hill I am willing to die on.

Mayo is one of those things (like ketchup) that you can make yourself, but at the end of the day, it’s just not light years better than the stuff you can get in a jar. Unlike chicken stock.

Give it up man. They’ll all stop making slideshows when they all get new jobs.

Man that was a lot of Hamm.