It’s too bad. Brown seemed to really want to be on the Raiders, but ultimately he just got cold feet.

Any chance we can get years with some of these? Like Carrie (1976 vs 2013) or Friday the 13th (1980 vs 2009), in order to set baseline expectations?

Not to mention as a guy with a semi-receding hairline, I’m not rubbing lotion into my hair after I’ve styled it only to fuck it up. Spray makes getting hairline coverage a LOT easier.

Agree. and it helps for people who have hairy areas on their body. 

Goddammit! They’re gonna win the Cup again, aren’t they?

She wasn’t getting a payout from Florida apparently...

It’s easy to hate on Brady, but any of you would do the same if someone insulted your flesh and bloo...I mean, your turnip and flax meal.

+1 game suspension from FSU’s baseball team

Didn’t say that.

In college, my girlfriend had a roommate. Literal roommate, as there was only one bedroom. The girl in the other bed had a boyfriend, too. They were good students and went to bed early. My girlfriend and I were late night people. Anyway, sleeping couple on the other side of the room, we start going at it. Quiet…

Being Irish Catholic - and hung like an elevator button- all my sex stories are embarrassing.

Going down on my girlfriend after eating spicy hot wings was a poor decision.

I’d have to say it’s a tie between the top 784 times I’ve had sex, where each time I lasted two pumps and then ashamedly said, “Wow, I never came that fast before, you really had me turned on a LOT.”

*Mother starts to open gift*
Mother: “What the hell is this?”
Me: “It’s Smeg, ma!”

The worst is if you accidentally piss between the seat and bowl onto the back of your pants. 

I have this randomly. Every once in a while I stand up, something unkinks and I have to add a short pee coda.

I will often stand and pee after I’m done taking a crap (and wiping). I don’t know why, but it’s hard for me to get a solid flow going sitting down. Probably should have a doctor look at that...

No offense but you fuckers are nuts.

If that doesn’t make the hair on your arms stand up, you don’t like sports.

If the NFL wants to boost ratings, they need to look into these pre-match face off / dance offs.