Licking a hockey player's face probably compares to licking the netherregions of the ladies on The View

"monty pitches and I catch - the money won't change us!"

I thought you were setting the scene for another former NFLer: An Empty White Castle And Two Bored Children: Former NFLer Lawrence Taylor Has The Best Night Ever.

adiZero would be a good shoe for Lebron and those zero championships he has

adiZero would be a good shoe for Lebron and those zero championships he has

"a mangled dick with serious Indian burn"

"undoubtedly fueled by Skittles and apple juice"

I though the worlds most watched hourse slaughter was Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex in the City the movie

Unfortunately, it doesnt count as a "wet willie" because of the lack of "wetness". I am calling this one a "Damp Darrell" purely based on the explosiveness that the finger entered the ear canal and lack of saliva used

And yet Tim Tebow getting booed is the biggest news in baseball

Im pretty sure was a ride at the South Carolina state fair at one point

Peeping is one thing, but felony secret peeping? Youre screwed

"I'm going to be watching the draft lottery very closely because I don't want no shenanigans."

Would he have a poor grip on a crack pipe and let that go flying into the stands? I think not!

Not if Martin Lawrence and Steve Zahn have anything to say about it

He wouldn't have let it go if it was his crack pipe

Just another excuse to relapse...

You are more of a man than most people would care to admit

"They cut her open and began digging around for the child"

"The doctor explained that the baby shies away from the light, so they have to reach in and find it and violently rip it out. "