Maybe because most American peanut butters would be more accurately be called peanut frosting. Seriously, look at the sugar. It belongs on a goddamn cake.

Does this mean the hood is going to rust from the inside, out?

Do Mormons have internet?

Or just don’t get so goddamn drunk. Or buy a breathalyzer.

I had a mirrored screen protector a while back (on one of those touchscreen phones that opened up to expose a second screen and keyboard) and it could only be seen from roughly straight-on, to the same effect as the above. Probably an easier option?

I really wish we knew what state or region this guy was in, because that could change things. He went with an SUV to begin with, which hints at some reasoning (or not).

What about that solar plane that flew to Hawaii and back or something? Combine the two ideas and BAAAAAAM

Every grocery store in town has a bunch of scales in the produce section

I’ll keep an eye out for the movie.

Totally valid point, but I think the real game here was a purpose-built vehicle. Think of the efficiency of this compared to outfitting and driving around a heavy, retrofitted minivan or full-size van. Those all have V-8s too, but presumably, weigh more due to the add-ons and conversions. I’d also like to think the V8…

Because—what the fuck?

The answer here is a big sexy Volvo.

Someone educate me: Why are pre-2005 models “crap”?

I’m gonna stick with Buick. Even though I actually enjoy the brand’s work, it’s always half-assed. Where are the GTs, the under-the-radar sport sedans, the actually capable luxury 4x4? I feel like Buick could be like Audi but with more style and less AWD. Instead, it’s just a bunch of Chevys with plastic chrome…

How else would he afford tetanus shots and 10mm sockets?

Watch, fellow citizens, as carmakers of the civilized world whiz by us with high MPGs, alternative fuels, innovative safety tech, and higher build qualities.

My grandfather recently stuck a plow on the front of his electric golf cart. Works like a dream.

We’d prefer Netflix/Hulu/streaming, but TV will do, too.

I’d like to see that printed on a tank top

While you haven’t been one of my favorite Jalop writers, I have to say that this review was one of the most successfully executed as of late.