Okay, somebody please explain to me why he had to choose between "quietly taking it so as not to be seen as the angry black man" and "losing his temper and going off on the racist assholes"? Why couldn't he have calmly and rationally called them out for being racist assholes, and thus accomplish BOTH making them look…

goddammit

Skyler already looks like he is in middle managment at an insurance company in Hartford commenting on people's Powerpoints.

[removes human suit]

The t is silent. Just like Thomas's undying rage.

It was all a misunderstanding. He clearly said, "I will fight everyone who's near."

At the wedding I went to in New Mexico, that qualified as "semi-formal."

Hey now.

All that hard work for nothing, Brad Paisley and LL Cool J.

That's like threatening to fight every heterosexual at a Melissa Etheridge concert.

That's going to make his locker room gang-rape super awkward.

Your kid is already trolling you. They grow up so fast these days.

As the shiver in my spine dropped to the pit of my stomach I slowly turned around to look and said "Sweetheart, there is nothing there." Without missing a beat she said " I know, it ran out the door."

I took her hand in mine and held it tightly as I said goodbye. Before I left, I knelt and retrieved her jaw as well.

True story: My wife took her first trip out of town after having our first child. Our daughter was maybe three at the time and I still had to help her get ready for bed. As I stood her up on her old changing table to get her pajamas on she looked over my shoulder and whispered in my ear: "Daddy there's a monster…

"Hello, I'd like to buy the baby shoes you have for sale."

From the outside or the inside?

Only scary when the people who think it's scary are in control of the government.

I like the other variation even better. It's even more ominous and subtle: