“Sploosh”

Fahey, I will always love you, you silly bastard.

Tri Tip or GTFO

It wasn’t anywhere (or anywhen) special. Just try your best not to sneeze while peeing.

I’m sorry Numsy! I should be punished!

That was just an elaborate way to call him a wanker.

Abridged? Did you cut a little off the end?

Well duh. Too far right or left is bad for any pitcher.

He wanted to tweet a picture of his tattoo, but it was way over the limit.

Didn't amount to much. He kept missing wide right.

"Jets, you just got served!"

"Don't die in my bath water, ya nasty motherfucker."

Sure it's embarrassing, but the Denver fan didn't even show up.

Most of theories just sound like stabs in the dark.

H. wasn't actually Jesus's middle initial, that's a common misconception. In fact middle names didn't really come into use until the late middle ages.

10 yr old me just shit a brick, called everyone he knew, and threw a party.

You guys laugh all you want. Mockingbird just signed at CB for the Broncos.

Also, Boo Boo now owes him 5 bucks.

I hear she gives a lot of hometwerk.

It's really too soon for Penn State to bring in such a slippery fucker.