So after decades of defending itself without carriers, how did this happen? The one-word answer:

Oh yeah a bunch of string and pushpins will be needed...and Kind Bars...there needs to be dark chocolate and salted caramel Kind Bars.

Actually, Seth is Zach’s “twin” brother

We’ll cut the suspension down to probation, but watch yourself. 

I love how you managed to spell the particularly difficult “Galifianakis” correctly but gave him the completely wrong first name. I’m fired up.

If Dan Marino had played hockey:

As the resident Cardinals fan at this Chicago office, I made bacon and pancakes for everyone this morning on the office griddle. I figured after the Cardinals spent all weekend fucking the Cubs, I should at least cook them breakfast.

Today I learned: Sáček is the Czech equivalent of Sanchez.

Iiiiiiiiiiiiin West Philadelphia

“You can just throw them out of windows??”

Welcome to America in 2019, where Arians claim to be helping a Gay but really just want to set them further back.

“World of Suck, you say? Guess I’m done visiting Orchids of Asia.”

Stars for you, your son, and the scout troop.

The unsportsmanlike thing is the Colts accepting the penalty.

You sweet summer child. 

It’s a sad irony that the people most critical of all-girl gaming groups are the ones most complicit in fostering an environment that necessitates their existence.

Once again, a soccer story that ends with no scoring.

The people in witness protection sure are hoping so... Could you imagine trying to find placement for someone like Tekashi? Where in the would would he be inconspicuous?!?