As the resident Cardinals fan at this Chicago office, I made bacon and pancakes for everyone this morning on the office griddle. I figured after the Cardinals spent all weekend fucking the Cubs, I should at least cook them breakfast.

Especially if the leaders on the other side are scared ass punks. (Pelosi)

Today I learned: Sáček is the Czech equivalent of Sanchez.

Iiiiiiiiiiiiin West Philadelphia

“You can just throw them out of windows??”

Welcome to America in 2019, where Arians claim to be helping a Gay but really just want to set them further back.

“World of Suck, you say? Guess I’m done visiting Orchids of Asia.”

Stars for you, your son, and the scout troop.

The unsportsmanlike thing is the Colts accepting the penalty.

You sweet summer child. 

It’s a sad irony that the people most critical of all-girl gaming groups are the ones most complicit in fostering an environment that necessitates their existence.

Once again, a soccer story that ends with no scoring.

I have suffered 34 concussions through sports, fights, and work. Semantics are everything: back in the day they called it getting your bell ring, instead of what it actually is. It’s brain damage, plain and simple.

“Yes, I misused the term ‘concussion’ in my earlier statement. That’s to be expected, though.  Lots of people mix up words and misuse them after suffering a concussion.”

Sure, he has to retract his misuse of ‘concussion’ and ‘nerve damage’, but no one says a thing to the Lions about their use of ‘NFL Franchise’

They’re both due for a beaning next time they are in St. Louis.  

Terrible for who? Thinning out some of the dumbest of our population in one fell swoop isn’t such a terrible idea.

The people in witness protection sure are hoping so... Could you imagine trying to find placement for someone like Tekashi? Where in the would would he be inconspicuous?!?

I thought “Austin Hays” described the air at Matthew McConnaughey’s house