"I don't care how many cops I have to go through, I'm getting my glasses back."

"I don't have much of a choice at the moment."

I felt a great disturbance in the force. As if millions of Heat jerseys were folded and suddenly put in the back of closets.

May the ESPN-Star Wars tie-ins live long and prosper.

Are we sure he's a Rangers fan? I mean, he actually had to lift his shirt to reveal his stomach.

I kinda feel like CNN emulated ESPN's graphic-heavy layout, studio farce, and "appeal to the dumbest fucking humans" strategy. Like, "oh, that works for sports viewers, lets take that and adopt it to important things!"

Say, Tom, I have video of Johnny Manziel executing a textbook windup-stretch before throwing an easy 68 mph opening pitch right down the pipe. How much?

Brazil/Germany heat map.

Ball: [flies directly through Alexi Lalas]

Man, Skyline Chili farts are the worst.

Thanks, Obama!!

Um, pretty sure this is Gilbert's jet. Smh that other one looks nothing like it.

I thought you needed three rings for a circus.

It actually wasn't a foul ball. At least not until after it got Budweiser splashed all over it.

When Darren Rovell is the least offensive pundit on a sports panel, it's time to change the channel.

The VHS cover of "Oh-faces of Death"

McCarthy is the female version of Jack Black. Funny in good supporting roles but not a leading actor.

I'm a Calgary fan and this sits fine with me. Hope it goes well for him!