Seeing his head on Courtney Cox's body is going to trigger Simmons to write a 10,000 word article comparing each Friends cast member to an NBA free agent.

#NotAllSportswriters

You know it's one hell of a party when the least douchey looking person in this photo is Johnny Manziel.

needs more Cleatus

What team were they all drafted by?

You yinz some, you lose some.

Looks like some leftover trash from the "Luke Bryan" concert.

"120 Sports, a division of Entertainment 720."

A Jason-Newstead/Scott Stapp tribute band?

Ad Director: OK team, this dumpster thing is not going well. I need ideas. Give me anything!

It's probably pretty fair to assume this man's name was Todd.

Is she reacting to the goal or doing a blow-up doll impersonation?

The kid from Bad Santa is all grow'd up.

Has anyone noticed that the outfits of Country Stars are now more akin to trashy Vegas-esque outfits that the Wal-mart crowd think looks slick, but they look like what I can assume Britney Spears wears at her Vegas shows. Gone are the classic looks of George Strait and Alan Jackson, and now they look like Jersey…

Wanna know who still buys CDs? These people do, which is why "shirtless country" is a thing now. It's basically country-twanged pop rock based around dumb bumpkin escapist fantasies and performed by wholesome non-threatening rubes whose greatest dream is to become the new Jimmy Buffett. These tours are a huge deal…

And people have the nerve to say that you don't write articles anymore! Great job, Simmons.

I'm a sucker for the classics:

(Because the team blows, har har har.)