Kid: [gets leg smoked]

My Turd Cutter

"We surveyed 100 people, top 5 answers are on the board. Tell me Mariano, what would you throw on an 0-2 count?"

Has Rovell mentioned how high the value of Under Armor's brand has gone up in this video yet?

Maybe Amendola had to move on to his 4:15 interview on Boston's top-rated Sean & Sully's Sports Pissah...

The fact that he makes his security guard stand behind him, blocking the view of tons of other people really seals the deal.

Reporter #1: Hey Aloe Blacc people say your song is a rip off of Elton John ....Is that true?

I don't find Aloe nearly as soothing as I used to.

"That ticket oak is an Indian giver"

I found a Vikings NFC Champions 2009 one in a store once and debated picking it up for the sheer novelty value, especially since I'm a Saints fan.

Yeah, Fetes!

To Rick Reilly's new readers (whenever they come along):

"People get what odd ESPN reporter Darren Rovell is all. He passes on cold hard facts, acts like a root canal on Twitter, let us known that our world is bleak and boo-scary place, and serves as a pure pass-through for any company looking to pass on a brand message to ESPN consumers. We all know this, but what we all…

More like Caroline Woznotexpectingthat!!!!11!

Unlike most diehard Heat fans, she's actually been a fan as long as she could remember. Which to her credit is almost 5 minutes ago.

"Bourque, Bourque, Bourque!"

If you react that badly to water, you're probably one of those "Signs" aliens. Corey Crawford just saved humanity.

Those who live with a glass eye shouldn't throw it over to Bob Ley.

When I was younger, my neighbor used to let me and my friends play in his pool and make dunk videos like this all summer long, until he just decided out of the blue one day that it wasn't "safe" anymore. What a dick, right? You were the worst neighbor ever, Tommy Lee.