Hey, it’s season #50 for the hometown Blazers! It’s a lovely all-white fair-weather fanbase that acts like it’s won five championships. Is it time to retire yet another number yet? I hope so! Is there a Blazers game on tonight? Sweet! Wait, are the Timbers playing? Oh... in that case, I’ll just check in on my phone to…

Bob Kraft, channeling Pat Bowlen: “This one’s for me, the john!”

I think most NBA teams would rather he “quit” and save himself for a long, marketable future in the NBA than play a few more bullshit games for the horny NCAA

I just don’t understand why they’d do this. Why would they give such a tacit endorsement to the racism and white grievance culture that this represents? I appreciate that these invitations are traditional and everything but I really thought Trump would draw the line somewhere.

And let’s not forget how bad the attendance numbers look once you account for the fact that Philip Rivers’ family is responsible for filling half of the seats.

Eh, Machado about nothing, if you ask me. 

I would like this post un-grayed by Thursday!

CU is a bunch of retro flashback trust fund hippies who after they get done playing crappy phish covers on the street corner will jump in their Range Rover. Boulder is the worst. They are the worst.

That’s great and all, but how many days are in a week?