When I was in college, I was in line to get my car washed — first nice day after a snow storm. Super long line so the guy in front of me decided to leave and suddenly threw his car in reverse and was about to hit me, so I backed up and hit a parked car at the little mechanic shop next to the car wash. The mechanic…

I called my elderly parents a while ago to make sure they had food and supplies and asked them not to go out in crowds and my dad pretty much blew me off. I work in health care, and one of my former professors has been translating and posting updates from China since this began. My brother was somehow able to put the…

When I was in college, I got a $275 ticket for going 2mph over the speed limit in a hospital zone. I was like, a car length inside the zone and accelerating to merge into an on ramp. I was driving a shitty ass beater car, and begged him not to ticket me because I couldn’t pay it. At the time, that ticket was more than…

The colleges near me are all closing and finishing the semesters online, and the school districts are discussing now whether they will close after spring break as well. When I went grocery shopping I noticed the frozen pizza, Mac and cheese and other kid friendly food was decimated. People are panic buying, but I…

I hoard them too! Have you tried Rancho Gordo brand? So good! 

Well, the biggest risk factors for not recovering from the  virus are poor diet, dehydration, insomnia and poor cardiovascular fitness. So! 

I asked my dentist about UV sanitizers for my electric toothbrush, and was told they are essentially bullshit, and degrade the handle and battery. I already Had iPhone screen sanitizer wipes which you can buy in a medical supply store (if there are any left)

My grandma was a master of this....I never realized until I was much older that she was the one who actually made all the decisions, but my Grandpa was convinced he was in charge. 

Yeah, when I had a back injury, her show was literally the only thing I could watch which would distract and engage me enough that I stopped worrying whether my back would heal. I’ve tried to explain it to people, it’s somehow simultaneously mundane and ludicrous. Sunny, pretty locations, ridiculous clothes and cute…

People are really lonely and lost, and desperate for answers for why they don’t feel good. No one wants to hear that they would feel better if they ate more vegetables, slept more, and got involved in their community and dealt with their trauma. It’s way easier to believe there’s a demon or bad energy making you…

I worked in a club, and the bartender’s boyfriend had broken up with her in a particularly cruel and shitty way. He still came in every night expecting free drinks and the same level of VIP service, and seemed completely oblivious to the fact that he had lost his privileges.

My dad believes this too! My mom thinks expiration dates are a scam to convince us to buy more food. I periodically go through his fridge and panty to throw out expired stuff. I used to wait tables and had to take food safety classes. I wish everyone was required to do the same, bc I can’t believe the stuff I see…

Nic Cage in “Valley Girl” saying “Fuck off for sure, like totally” https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/f6fca7e8-63dc-4f56-a920-204d88125244

.

Everybody has their own sensitivities, I’m not bothered by that kind of stuff at all, but I would hork my guts out if I had to clean someone’s teeth.

I think they are more concerned with signaling that they can afford extensive plastic surgery than actually looking good. On “Botched” when a woman told her friend she wanted more natural looking plastic surgery, the friend tried to talk her out of it, saying “But now you look expensive!”

My mom’s Catholic HS planned to offer free tuition for the next 20 years bc they had a huge endowment from a long standing festival and brilliant fundraising, and every single penny went to pay off lawsuits. I don’t begrudge the victims a single penny, but jeez, it’s devastating to think that decades of low income…

When I was in high school some 30 years ago, I read that the Church was the 6th wealthiest corporation on the planet. And I don’t know if that includes their real estate holdings and art collection.. They could sell a quarter of their art collection and feed and house millions of people, but nope, gotta have vaults…

I have a side gig at a staffing agency and literally spent 5 minutes on the phone explaining what “on call” meant, sent written instructions twice to clarify, and the woman was still baffled when I called her in. 

A friend of mine lived in OJ’s neighborhood, and a group of people would stand on the sidewalk and quietly chant “murderer murderer” over and over. Not loud enough or big enough to disturb the neighbors, but just to let OJ know he’s a piece of shit. I hope everyone who finds themselves within 20 feet of Kavanaugh just…