Respective to Tebow, is ESPN now like some crazy ex-girlfriend whom you need to get a restraining order against?

These goal celebrations are getting out of hand

Pablo never slides dirty.

Leave it to Ballmer to make it some tie in with MS Paint.

*knock at door*

Eddy Curry was also found at the game hoarding as much food as possible to take back to his home under the bridge.

*singing* Cold-blooded.

Too bad AT&T’s service at that location was not at the highest bar.

Deron’s State Farm Insurance twin stopped answering my calls after I had a claim.

Why? It’s as realistic as it gets! Just like the Bulls, owners regret the purchase very soon after the investment is made.

Look, I can't stop buying D-Rose gear, my job requires a suit and tie.

A .611 winning percentage? That is fackin’ shit right there. What did we do to deserve so much losin’?

Be fair here. It isn’t like the Cubs paid a lot of money for him to throw a baseball accurately.

Bob Costas last pled for Death when his hotel room in Sochi ran out of toilet paper.

When you’re hanging out in Chicago’s South Side, trying to blend in, but then someone mentions there are new episodes of House of Cards streaming on Netflix and you’re like, “wait, what? who said that?”

He meant to say “numbass”, to describe how his butt feels after these last few years of competition.

You mock, but it’s very likely that Jennifer is actually a cat that’s very hungry for hamburgers.

Ghost of Ernie Banks: Let’s play two!

I’m not sure the Braves are as doomed as you say they are, Rohan. They’ve gone from two BJ Upton’s to no BJ Upton’s in the course of six months.

“That guy should have paid $750 for it for seven years.”