“the country’s premier educational institution”

“Krylon Glossy Jungle Green”

Bret, invite me to dinner at your house. I will NOT call you a bedbug. I will, however, give you a swirly and bang your wife. 

Naw, you're just shitty. 

Why are you body shaming a woman?

The hell is wrong with you?

It's "fuckheads". 

Hey, whatever happened with the former Gawker employees who were accused of sexually harrassing/assaulting other folks while they worked for GMG?

Rita Ora.

Oh, damn. Way to take us back to a simpler time. 

I'm right here.

Not that I recall, but he did choose to take offense at a few things I said. 

That's what happens if you make Kev sad.

I didn’t go anywhere, I was simply banned on The Takeout a year or so ago.

I took a math class at Pima Community College, one of the places this squirrel taught. It helped me realize I wasn't bad at math, I'd just had bad math teachers. I really appreciate that professor taking the time to sit down and working through problems with me until I really understood them.

Sorry, but this made me laugh. 

lol

Decaf, maybe?

They’re not trying to change the world, they’re just trying to get elected.

Plus, they can arrest 3-4 times more black kids for being uppity.