I enjoy trolling internet forums.

I can't wait for Mortal's midlife crisis in 25 years. 

The first time I ever saw a possum I was cruising around with my girlfriend on some back roads in Michigan on a dark rainy night while pleasantly drunk and high. When that pinkish grey monstrosity appeared in the headlights I knew that someone had laced our weed with an evil hallucinogenic drug. To this day, I am…

Some snakes. 

Stop kink shaming.

Dude's so orthorexic it hurts. 

“On the river, I’d definitely drink this beer from a can, but pouring it into a glass allows a better aromatic experience. The Hallertau and Mt. Hood hop aromas jumping off the pour are bright and grassy, sneaking in just a little earthy oregano, too. Underneath the hops, the flaked corn in this beer’s grain bill…

Nobody called it gravy until they watched The Sopranos.

I feel I am to be commended for not posting a "learning to make Sunday sauce" from "your mom" joke. 

Oh, good. The world needs more people excusing their racism through religion.

You’re all average.

The trolls at Splinter will just put him in the grey. 

Hey, good job with the spoiler warnings. 

My posts didn’t show up for about six months, even while I was an approved commenter. They started showing up again last week. 

Sweeping floors taught you a lot, huh?

Yeeeeeeeaaah.

lol

True. I was wearing lined pants earlier.

It's a little something I like to call "being an adult".

“We have no idea if this woman just instantly went off, or if the missing burger was the unthoughtful straw that broke the back of this particular marital camel.”