Just throw something at the little bastard. 

Threw a slipper at the cat who was demanding that I get up to let her out at two last night. She dodged INTO the slipper. She's mad at me for laughing at her now.

Threw a slipper at the cat who was demanding that I get up to let her out at two last night. She dodged INTO the…

Dryer sheets coat your towels with the exact same substance that wool dryer balls do: lanolin, the oil found in sheeps’ wool. Except the dryer sheets work far better, in my experience. 

Dryer sheets coat your towels with the exact same substance that wool dryer balls do: lanolin, the oil found in…

They're just eggs, they're tasty even when they aren't perfect. There's nothing to be intimidated about.

You should write and ask The Salty Waitress.

“The odds are ever in your favor”

Still good though. 

I love a nice jammy omelette for dessert.

We all have our issues, man.

Yes.

No.

Orthorexia is nothing new in the NBA.

“I actually got to talk her about At Home a while back, and she pretty much inspired my obsession with cheeseballs.”

Amy Sedaris freaks me the fuck out.

“Peter Thiel”

Lies. Everyone knows you can’t break the speed of sound.

I dismissed your obviously wrong, trolly answer, Gumbercules.

Innocuous comment.

The vegan, obviously.

All I can taste is sadness.