You look like you started out the day normal sized and then drank some potion which caused you to start shrinking. I love it!

Hide it! You won’t regret it!

I generally dislike “I love your username!” comments, but I really have to acknowledge a good Harlan Ellison reference when I see it.

I hid my birthday on facebook for that very reason. Still, one person every year has to spoil it and so everyone who sees their “Happy Birthday!!!” comment needs to join in. Argh! I’m just trying to watch crappy horror movies and drink wine all day, yo! I also never wish anyone on facebook a happy birthday. If I don’t…

I’ve always hated these videos of parents publicly shaming their kids. It’s really bad parenting and seems super damaging to kids at a really vulnerable stage of development. This guy sucks just as much as any other parental public shamer.

You should enjoy this, then.

I just made the same argument from your first paragraph (after “Yay”) with someone else on Facebook. More often than not the votes would go terribly wrong.

Like this guy who had trouble spelling AC/DC.

Ha! I was just talking at work last night about how incredibly awkward and uncomfortable it is to be serenaded. Granted, my experience was one on one but still...

It is! The only time I ever felt a “pop” was when I tore my calf muscles.

I was all like “When did Wesley Snipes get outta jail?” Then I googled and it was about 2 years ago. I need to start paying better attention.

No. You equated not wearing heels with being sloppily dressed (the female equivalent of wearing “board shorts and muscle tanks” to a formal event) so you can’t decide after everyone rightfully called you out that what you said was actually something different.

I had no idea that the tumor on the nerve going to my middle ear that destroyed a big chunk of my ability to balance was also going to render me unfit to attend formal events. Huh. I learned something new today.

You make an excellent point. Oh wait! No you don’t.

The guy was already split from his first wife. That woman is trashing him publicly (which is shitty parenting actually). If someone was dragging you through the mud and coming very close to libel would you be contorting yourself to much to defend them because they might be a victim somehow? This is the person you’re…

I heard he was chill. He even handles tackling by strangers well!

My friend’s father is in the Orchestra in our city and 30+ years ago Mr. Rogers did some sort of performance with them. My friend had been losing her mind that she was going to meet Mr. Rogers but got sick at the last minute and had to stay home. After the performance her dad explained that his daughter had been…

I was going to explain it but I thought “Why bother when Wikipedia exists?”

I had someone in my bar about a month and a half ago drinking tequila and Red Bull. I wanted to vomit serving him those but, hey, his money. He was young enough that hopefully someday he’ll develop some taste and look back on his tequila and Red Bull days with the proper amount of shame.

Jesus. You’re certainly getting your panties in a twist about burner accounts (incorrectly I might add) all over the comments section for this article. Make a nice cup of chamomile tea and relax.