Absurdity can often be very funny.

As absurdity goes, the fact that, whoever won or lost the election, there was no outcome where a known, longtime serial perv wasn’t moving into the White House, is a fucking hoot.

No, you need to quit splitting hairs.

I didn’t vote for Trump. There’s nothing to move on from.

I just think it’s funny that either way the election went, a sexual predator was moving into the White House, one of them for the second time.

“I feel as comfortable working for Mr. Trump as Secretary Clinton has felt sleeping next to her bimbo-dicking husband for the last 20 years.”

A little correction:

The 9/11 hijackers were all in the country legally. One was on a valid student visa, 14 were on tourist visas, and four were on business visas. They were foreign nationals allowed to legally conduct their business on American soil, not illegal immigrants.

If you really must have a shooting over which to wring your impotent hands...

“we can laugh at ourselves”

Thank to Mitchell and Webb, I can no longer look at non-celebrity exploitation shows without thinking of this sketch and giggling.

“One of the things that struck me as odd about this election, and maybe I just missed it, is nobody asked Donald Trump what makes America great,” Stewart noted.”

That would have been work, Jon.

Reporting the Trump gaffe-of-the-day was so much easier, and much more likely to bump site traffic and bring in those…

Ted Kennedy in Hell (which, for him, is a “dry” county stretching out into infinity):

I did not vote for Trump. I’ve never watched his TV show or stayed at one of his hotels or spent money in one of his casinos. To a Mad Magazine-reading child of the 1980s, he’s always been a figure of mockery. The human dumpster fire has been burning for a long, long time.

That said, I have not lost sleep because of…

How would you have heard if they were instructed to tell no one and were so successful in this it threw off a bunch of poll data?

“Polls.

For the state in which I live, which is very red, you could have awarded all of Johnson and Stein’s votes to Clinton (including my vote for Johnson) and Clinton still would have lost the state by over 400,000 votes.

Castro, definitely. Booker, too.

After an election that was the battle to see who the oldest rich, white person ever to be sworn as president was going to be, the Democrats need to take back their image as the party of the future. That means promoting the younger generation into more prominent leadership roles…

“Blame the press for being completely unable to responsibly handle this election; for allowing itself to be cowed by a buffoon who threatened their continued employment and sometimes even their physical safety; for mistaking the feeble defensiveness of the Clinton camp for a sign that her misdeeds were in any way…

“We go forward with a presumption of good faith in our fellow citizens.”

And when is that supposed to kick in, sir?

Will you now send him a bill for living rent-free in your head and on your site’s front page for the last 18 months?

Step one of public image therapy has begun.

How are the odds for him showing up for the next season of “Dancing With the Stars” career repair? 100:1?

“The last thing that I wanted was to have this become political propaganda.”