I hope Ted Cruz’s father was on the grassy knoll. We don’t have enough controversy and stuff to argue about anymore.

“Do you remember Greg when he was the host of Talk Soup? Remember that?”

Megyn Kelly Palette - 9/25/17-10/20/17

I never knew these were called nips and I never fly without them (and yes I bring them on the plane because no I’m not spending $9 for half an ounce of vodka just so I can be slightly less scared the plane is going to crash).

I just spent 10 minutes trying to figure out why your town wanted to ban nipples before deducing what a nip must be. Thanks I always like learning new slang.

I’ll be right behind you in line with my mom and her contraband water bottles of rum and coke, as she thinks the theatre that serves alcohol isn’t enough of a challenge.

I only know his name because of Parks and Recreation.

Of all the times to release this? Especially him?

Now if they would give a good hard look into all those Dan Schneider rumors...

Okay, but if it was a body double, Trump definitely would say something like, “my wife Melania, she’s right here. This is definitely not a body double.”

Megyn Kelly Colors, 9/25/17-10/18/17

Counterpoint: go fuck yourself.

making the staff buy lemonade from your stand = little punk

Let’s just talk logistics: there is zero way a teenager with a box of Nice & Easy dye could go from blue to blonde, especially with fresh blue dye. Zero. Zip. Not happening. Anyone who has ever dyed their hair ever would know this.

Don’t go blaming the mother, now. Did they not have a father?

How Carrie Fisher deals with bullshit.

NBC executives probably wish they could turn back time to when Tamron Hall and Al Roker hosted the time slot that Megyn Kelly now occupies.

I doubt Ted Cruz would ever hobnob with “Hollywood Elites”

Maybe somebody with a talent besides stoking racial/class outrage could get in there.....