Also, it started out as Twilight fanfic...so...

I mean, it’s kind of terrible. But Ehd and Beh spoke to me. I don’t know what it was.

*COKE*COKE*COKE*

I have not enjoyed this season, mainly because of McGregor’s accent. Also, I don’t really give a shit about anyone save Nikki and that didn’t happen until the bus accident. Season 2 was perfection.

Kelly, since I know you love a good romance, you need to check out Transcendence for more caveman UST. Modern girl time travels back, gets caught in a caveman’s trap, love ensues. I bought it for a laugh, and much to my shame (and delight), ended up loving it.

20 years is all it takes to be iconic? I’m double iconic, plus 3.

“Good job, Jen. But more condescending baby talk this time.”

Others might not hate the baby-talk as much as I do. And boy, do I hate it. Almost as much as I hate the Trivago guy.

Jennifer Garner used her best baby-talk voice to scold Lindsey about how she should use Capital One miles when she flies to see Ben.

I love this show. Also, let’s have a fashion hunt to find the earrings Issa is wearing when she’s talking about her ho phase. Because I want them.

I love pocket puppies with ‘tude! Go Sophie! She would totally rule our Tucker, 95 lb Golden.

We have a pit on our street. Her name is Jasmine and her eyes are seafoam green. She is a love and when she smiles....

My review of Stepmom: Will Susan Sarandon DIE ALREADY?!

Sometimes the P goes in the V. Sometimes the P goes in the B. And this time, the P goes in Sea.

I have pulled for Stan many, many times. But not this weekend, Satan. Not this weekend.

I’m sitting at my computer in threadbare Marvel tee-shirt, no bra on with period tits (!), flipping between Comey and the French Open. #success

Britney has that “Running out to the 7-11 for some Winston Ultra Lights” aesthetic and she is sticking with it, by God.

All I know is mozzarella sticks. And that’s enough for me.

What does La Quinta mean in Spanish?

If I wanted to sleep at an Applebee’s, I would just sleep at an Applebee’s.