I’m sure his wife can help him.

So it’s actually rape that makes you go blind, not masturbation.

This saddens me. Now there is literally no way he’ll see the inside of a jail cell.

Kim and Kanye take Taylor Swift

She also Rick Rolled the audience:

Between this and the Trump/Pence logo, I am now convinced that there is a maybe not-so-small group of Republican operatives secretly trying to bring down Trump from the inside.

Ok, I’m totally sleep deprived and haven’t been able to fully follow news for the past week, so someone help me out here. Is Newt being a reasonable and thoughtful Republican a sign of the impending apocalypse? Am I misunderstanding what I’m reading here? Someone please help!

I agree—and then they said it again! Like they thought it was so profound it beared repeating.

Fucking thank you. He even repeated it!

I really couldn’t get past that part. And he repeats it twice!!

Despite all the awful shit in this article, I think this is what made my eye twitch the most.

I just wish some actress would finally be like “No, I knew I could do it and do it well. I am in top form, young and stunningly beautiful, and I work hard on my body every day and even got a bit of plastic work done to get to my peak. I went to theater school for 3 years and this was my second big budget movie that…

“Was it hard to “do it”?” I whispered gently salivating into my children’s portioned French toast.

I’m getting so tired of boner lens some guys get when they interview women they find attractive. It feels like they can see anything beyond their appearance.

Audrey Hepburn is 2 words.

in my ideal world she spent the whole party with Ryan Reynolds doing increasingly escalating bits, trying to out improv each other

Okay, we’ve been over this. Let’s review again, shall we?

Okay, but really. How much cash is she making for saying this? And how did this deal come about? Her delivery makes me believe she believes what she is saying 100. Maybe it’s for money alone and she’s a pond-scum kind of human?