Did he stuff the little guy into the wood-chipper?

Totally, Jeff Kent is an ignorant cunt.

Well, I played 115-pound football, and all I got was a shattered fucking foot from trying to punt that goddamn anvil.

YOU LEAVE NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON OUT OF THIS.

<i>Bloodsportlandia

Stop ragging on her looks, you guys have no idea what you're talking about. Have you even heard her speak in her native language yet? Pure Romance.

Wait, I didn't realize that A-Rod was being suspended for smuggling drugs.

Yes. There was incentive for Cruz and Peralta to take their deals, serve their 50 games, and be back for the playoffs.

What kind of lap hog is this commie working with, here? Look how far her head is above his waist.

A less seasoned player than Lawrie doesn't make that throw.

The jump-cut to the next caller is when he kicked in the 7-second delay. Moe in New Jersey almost certainly swore or said something stupid.

Selig: And here to claim what should now rightfully be considered his own, the 2011 MVP award, Dodgers center fielder Matt Kemp!

There's a reason he fell to the 5th pick

"Why are people so into Yuengling?"

Damn, you're not supposed to put piss in the fridge? Well, how do YOU get the mountains to turn blue?