I'm confused as to your concern about Deadspin's tone in this particular article: which just lists the sanctions.

Hello? Beatrix Nutz? Obviously, this article was written by The Onion.

I find it awfully disturbing that Facebook keeps insisting that I like "Black People".

Yes, I noticed that too. And they happen to be right next door to each other.

Fiona Apple ain't got to try to be Lady Gaga — Fiona was Gagaing when the Lady was just a pipsquek!

The Mordor walkign directions are underwhelming.

Only if the hypercolor dies before they're washed. If they've been washe, and then die — they lose their soul.

I was always curious about Ghost clothing. If a woman dies and comes back as an opaque entity that constantly walks out to a lighthouse searching for her lost love's ship to sail in: fine.

yo

Fungus is not the only parasite that would be able to reanimate the deanimated. These little guys can also improve the host so that Zombie You will be stronger, faster, and smarter than Old You.

Except, for some reason, in the future-present, everything is 10 feet lower than it is in the present-present.

Going back in time is impossible — one can only go FORWARD in time.

Why is the title of this article the Awesome Terribleness? Doesn't sound like you found anything Terrible about the film. Should be called the Borderline Awesomeness of Snow White. Right? Right?

It's a little known fact that Cliff Clavin was meant to be a beautiful female spy that speant her off hours at the neighborhgood bar with her best friend, Norm Peterson.

Brand can be very cool. But sometimes, Brand can be a real dick.

...

Star Wars — the technology and culture of episodes !V, V, and VI are vastly behind the technologies and cultures of Episodes I, II, and III

Awesome.

And you all thought this movie was ridiculous