Chid, I would drink your peristaltic fluid if I could get out of the gray.

better than surprise, I guess.

When asked if he truly thought he deserved a suspension, 'if you want me to be honest, no,' said a surprisingly candid Martin.

sometimes you gotta be tough with your subordinates. Unless you do as I say, those handcuffs stay on and the basement door stays closed.

I was once tasked with a kinja re-design.

Frankly, I'm surprised all the windows are still in one piece.

Man, Karl really is nothing without Stockton by his side.

Hey, what's black and white and read all over? Probably not this comment!

it kinda builds like a twitter feed in some regards. should probably just make it twitter without character limits

Hi guys! Hey, new kinja. That's something, huh?

So, uh, wife getting induced tomorrow. first and last comment (for a while) on the new kinja. let's see what happens. Erg, you got any tunes for new baby boy Dirt? Keeping in mind his dad likes Neil Young a whole lot.

How dare you lay this shit at my wife's feet.

+1

It would be even better for him if he got to travel with the team and then missed the flight home.

one too many lime-a-rita/coconut porter blends.

This makes perfect sense considering they didn't teach evolution in Barry's school - how's he supposed to know that's not possible?

I'm sorry, youre all as stupid as his baby.

.

I'm sorry Tom, letting football players smoke marijuana is a slippery slope. Next they might also start driving cars, and then driving cars while high, and THEN they might end up as a .gif following a poor effort in the comments section of deadspin dot com.