I really question whether these are ‘recruitment’ videos, in the sense that I doubt its hard for them to hire recruits so badly that they need promotional materials. Rather, there is a real element of ego- and testosterone-heavy “WHEEE!! LOOK AT US!!”-ness to this.

Give the man a break: knowing the Kardashii, they’ve each had at least 3 plastic surgeries since he saw them last.

I once visited an American whorehouse in London.

Lay-er Orgasma in the porn parody.

So, in other words, don’t keep calm and don’t carry on? “Panic and hide at the slightest sign of danger”?

I dunno, don’t we want to keep the hideous blimps that are Trump and Carson (plus maybe Huckabee, Santorum, Fiorina and Christie) flying as long as possible? Sure, there’s endless pleasure to be had mocking them. But when they go down, we’ll be left with much harder rocks—to wit, Rubio.

Oops, polluted them again for ya!

Even in the far future, the military still buys essentially armorless bomb-bait vehicles for soldiers to be killed in.

I’m in training to be a firefighter right now. Last week we did vehicle extrication. Got to wield one of these babies. Looks similar:

Meh. Just looks like those ray-gun artillery things that are uselessly deployed against Godzilla in every film.

And don’t get me started on the Dwarf! His character image promotes an unrealistic and unhealthy stereotype. Fewer than 1% of all men—even hormonal dwarf men—are capable of growing a beard with that level of bristle-y-ness and fullness! And his FEET! Do we really want boys and young men to look in the mirror and judge…

Me, I hated Dragon’s Crown and think this is glorious.

Crudup, bitches down.

My dad lived in NYC all thru the 60s and said that between the 1965 and 1971 blackouts, you could tell how much America had decayed. In 65, it was a party atmosphere; everyone laughing, helping each other. He had to walk home from Manhattan to Queens after work and remembered looking back as he crossed over the bridge…

Oh and don’t forget: The grand prize in competitive cheerleading (=being a cheerleader for the NFL) is, essentially, an unpaid gig:

I am at the point where I hate most holidays, full stop. But, living in upstate NY there is something undeniably sexy about Valentines Day: “Lets fuck hard enough to remind ourselves what it is to feel warm again.”

Not ‘I have absinthe'?

Why do you hate America?

Except as we are learning its only ‘commercialized’ insofar as the Pentagon is spending taxpayer dollars to get these companies to run these campaigns.

Ooh, Fucking November; much sexier than conventional November.