I want to know what his coach did after he took that shot

Why would Samir Nasri Tweet in English?

10 pounds of teeth in a 5 pound mouth

I would like to remove “cunt” and replace with “thundercunt” - I think it would better capture how I feel

2016 is not fucking around.

While Bradley was sacked, Swansea have retained the rights to his throbbing forehead vein.

Sam Allardyce will now simultaneously manage both Swansea and Crystal Palace, as there are no other candidates to recycle.

The media just reached the Princess’ father for comment:

QUEEN ELIZABETH, PLEASE REPORT TO THE ON DECK CIRCLE....QUEEN ELIZABETH, PLEASE REPORT TO THE ON DECK CIRCLE

A guy I was guarding in a YMCA league game did this against me twice.

HOT TAKE

Every time a Ryan brother is fired, 10,000 chickens get to keep their wings

He’s not retiring. He’s going to head the Ministry of Truth in the Trump administration

Keeping him under glass will protect him from the harsh winter weather inside the Jerry Dome

He’s not active for the game

The dictionary definition of “douche chills”

We’re open tomorrow, but I’m using vacation time that I can’t carry over to next year

It’s easy killing off the last day at work before vacation.

He’s just a (*checks player’s race*) thuggish scrappy player